It costs more than you think.

Last month, I hit the old stock on the Avery labels in my office cabinet. I had a bunch of things to send out, and off they went. It turns out, who knew, that old labels stop sticking. It’s entirely possible some of my really important packages never got there, but it’s hard to tell. It was certain, though, that the adhesive wasn’t doing its job.

On the back of the box, it says, in big yellow type: 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed. It goes on to talk about how glad they’d be to replace the product. You’ve already guessed–six emails back and forth and they’re now whining about making a one-time accommodation, but just this one time.

“Hot bread, fresh from the oven, every time” is seductive, but what happens the first time a customer goes out of their way to visit and discovers that this is simply a lie?

Marketing puffery can have much bigger consequences. When Full Self Driving isn’t actually that, people can die. And every single person who has tried it realizes that it’s not what it says it is. And so we wonder, what else are they lying about?

If you need to out-hype your competition, it’s a race to the bottom. Someone is always more willing to hype than you are. Ironically, it’s not even the effective sales pitch lazy copywriters think it is.

Marketing puffery:

  • Burns trust
  • Puts strain on your customer service team
  • Often causes users to make bad choices
  • Teaches your loyal customers not to believe you
  • Generates negative word of mouth
  • and it can even lead to lawsuits

The alternative can be simple and effective: 99% of Avery users are delighted, and we’re doing our best to make it all of them. Or perhaps, “Now upgraded to next level automated driving assist.”

Marketers are privileged indeed to make promises. Why make promises you know you can’t keep?