If you buy an Ikea table, you’ll need 8 bolts to put it together. 7 is not enough.

This is functional sort of ‘enough.’ It can be critical to our survival. “I have enough medication to last through this illness.” “We have enough food to feed our family.”

But this isn’t the stress that we often feel in social or financial settings. That’s the bottomless, n+1 habit of never having enough.

Our needs got hijacked and turned into endless wants. Marketers and adjudicators of cultural standing turned ‘enough’ from a functional requirement to a never-ending tactic.

The not-enough of the driven hedge fund bro in the Hamptons, or the not-enough of the person hoarding resources, or the not-enough of the generous but nervous host who finds a sort of fuel in worrying about being hospitable. The not-enough chronicled in magazines and social media accounts. It’s the not-enough of someone counting online metrics, and the not-enough of the athlete who doesn’t simply want to win, they want to break a record.

This is a choice, and it is simply about the story we tell ourselves. There’s no absolute measure, no certain number of nuts and bolts needed in the optional search for solace and status.

On the other hand, when we find the insight to choose what our enough is, the people around us often respond warmly and in kind.

Insufficiency isn’t a tool or an advantage. It’s a hack, a distraction and a place to hide. This is a choice, a simple one, one we can remake each day.